Batman  VS EVERYONE
by El Destroyer
Summary: Batman can take on anyone and everyone. And he does. At the same time.
1. Chapter 1

No one knows why he did it. Some said that he just snapped one day. It seamed reasonable, since the Bat was long overdue. Some suggested that one of his enemies had brainwashed him, or something like that. It happens to people all the time. But for whatever reason, The Bat just up and snapped. He had already killed Hawk-Guy and Hawk-Girl before you even started reading this.

The JLA had an emergency meeting over what to do with the Bat.

"We can't kill him." Superman said. "He's Batman."

"Oh come on, don't tell me you're holding back again." Guy Gardner complained. "What a boy scout."

"Yeah, besides, it's not like anyone actually_ stays_ dead around here." The Flash commented.

"No, listen." Superman said. "I'm not saying this because he's my friend, but because he's the godamn Batman. There's nothing we can really do."

"Well, it's time to make a decision." Martian Manhunter told them. (That guy needs a better name.)

"What do you mean?" Superman asked.

"He stole a nuke from Lexcorp, after killing Lex. He also killed Scarecrow and stole his yellow alien ring." The Martian said. "And then he put on a weird helmet and disappeared off the psychic spectrum."

"What do you mean?" Hal asked.

"I mean I can't sense his mental wavelengths. He's off my radar." The green guy said.

"Dammit." Superman muttered.

"WARNING!" The computer voice shouted. "Inter-dimensional wormhole opening up in Gotham City."

"Justice League, Assemble!" Superman shouted, rising into the air.

"That's the Avengers catchphrase..." Hal muttered.

"Oh, um... Go Go Justice League!" Superman shouted.

"That's the power-rangers." WonderWoman said.

"Dammit! ...Justice League, Transform and Roll Out!" Superman said.

"That's the Autobots." Martian Manhunter said, before melting through the floor. Everyone else had already left for Gotham.

"Dammit!" Superman shouted before whizzing away.

Batman stood on a scaffolding above the nuclear warhead in his Batcave, waiting. He had the rocket set up to fire through a large shiny ring shaped machine. A crate of random items was at his side, and he had a glowing ring on either hand. One was made of kryptonite, and the other was yellow. He had stolen it from his nemesis, scarecrow. Superman blasted into the cave with a crash, followed by Captain Marvel WonderWoman, the four human Green Lanterns, and the Martian.

"Bruce, what are you doing?" Superman asked.

"I'm sick of this, Clark." Batman said. "I'm sick of the crime, the corruption, the perversion."

"What's he talking about?" Captian Marvel muttered.

"This world can't be saved. It's human nature to fight and kill." Batman said, pressing a button on a control panel on the scaffolding's railing. "The only peace that a man can come to is the peace of the grave."

"So, what? Are you going to destroy Gotham... or..." Captain Marvel had no idea what was going on. Superman and WonderWoman told him to shut up.

"No, not just _Gotham,_ Billy." Batman said. "I'm going to destroy the_ world!_ This world, and the _next!_"

"That doesn't sound good." Captian Marvel said.

The Flash zoomed into the Batcave. "What'd I miss?"

"Batman's going to blow up the world." Superman filled him in.

"AND THE NEXT!" Batman shouted. "Isn't... isn't anyone going to ask me what I meant by that? I set this whole thing up... and for what?"

"Okay, fine." WonderWorman said. "Are you talking about Earth 2 or something?"

"No, but close." Batman said. "After defeating a mad scientist, I confiscated his interdimensional gate. After that, I discovered a world very similar to our own."

"But how are you going to destroy them?" Hal Jordan asked.

"Um... I'm not going to answer that." Batman said, grabbing a lever. "I've taken opportunity of too many gloating villains to fall for that."

Batman yanked on the lever, and the ring came to life in a brilliant blue glow. Beyond that was what appeared to be a swirling tunnel of liquid, like the water going down the drain.

"He's going to shoot the nuke into the wormhole!" Captain Marvel exclaimed to the Justice league. "If it detonates in the space between dimensions, it would break down the realities of both worlds, and darkness would fall!"

There was an awkward silence, until Batman shouted "Damn you and you Intellect of Solomon!"

Superman became a blur, and suddenly he was standing infront of Batman. "Sorry Bruce, but I can't let you do this." Superman threw a punch, but Batman caught it. The only reason that Superman's fist didn't liquefy Batman's hand and go through his head was because he hit the hand with the Kryptonite ring on it. Superman stepped back, clutching his hand. "Aauughh, dammit, Bruce."

"Sorry, Clark, but I knew no one would go through with my plan." Batman said, taking out a lead thermos. "So I had to take precautions. Guess what's in this thermos?"

"Bruce! Wait! Don't!" Superman said, but it was no use. Batman unscrewed the cap, and a beam of green light shone out. He aimed the green light at Superman, who collapsed onto the floor.

"Take it, take it all!" Batman shouted, shaking the pebbles of Kryptonite out of the thermos and onto Superman's back.

"Oh no you don't!" Hal yelled, and threw a green energy fist at Batman. Batman raised his hand, the one with the ring he had stolen from Scarecrow, and caught the fist in his own hand of yellow light.

"Come on, the ability to make anything, and you make a fist?" Batman asked. His yellow-light-hand squeezed Hal's green-light-hand, and it shattered into green shards of energy.

Come on, guys, combine forces!" Hal shouted to the other three Lanterns, and they all shot green lasers at Batman. Batman deflected it with a yellow bubble shield, and made a spotlight from the yellow energy. "The weakness of the Lantern ring is the color yellow, right?" Batman asked.

"Well, actually, that used to be the case. Now it's the fear in the-"

"DON'T CARE!" Batman shouted, and turned on the spotlight, shining yellow light at them. Their rings began to sputter, like an engine dying, and the green forcefeild holding them up flickered before disappearing completely.

"Shit." Guy muttered before they all fell into the black pits below. Captain Marvel dived after them.

"Let's see that leaves..." Batman turned around to see the ugly green face of Martian Manhunter.

"Me." the alien said, before turning into a dragon of some sort.

"Huh, ironic choice, considering your weakness." Batman said, pulling a flamethrower out of the crate. Before The Martian could react, Batman set him ablaze. He fell over the railing and plummeted down.

Flash ran up the side of the the stone wall and leapt onto the platform. He charged at Batman, but Batman sidestepped him at the last second, tripping him. Flash went flying and hit the wall, a web of cracks spreading from his point of impact. The wall behind Flash exploded in a stream of water, and formed a waterfall.

"No one ever invites me to these things anymore." Aquaman said, riding a dolphin out of the water, and leaping off as it flopped around on dry land like a dying fish.

"That's because a towel and a hairdryer can deprive you of your powers." Batman said, pointing the flamthrower at him. "Or, a toasty campfire."

He shot a pillar of flame at the amphibious man. Aquaman ducked, but it was enough to make steam rise from his skin. Batman charged, and kicked Aquaman in the face.

Captain Marvel rose out of the abyss, carrying Hal Jordan and John Stewart. Not the guy from The Daily Show, the black guy. Anyway, he floated up between two weird machines that looked like towers topped with orbs.

"Billy, do you know what you're floating between?" batman asked.

"Um, Tesla conductors?" Captain Marvel answered with a worried look.

"Exactly." Batman said, and pulled a switch.  
Lightning arced between the conductors, and Billy, Hal and John were caught in the middle. Marvel transformed back into a prepubescent boy and plummeted to his death.

Wonder Woman charged at him, and Batman grabbed her with his yellow hardlight hand.

Soon, SuperGirl and PowerGirl arrived through the hole Superman had made in his entrance.

"Batman, what have you done?" SuperGirl asked.

"Ah, good. More Kryptonians. I was afraid all this Kryptonite would go to waste.

PowerGirl, more of the 'shoot first, ask questions later' type, shot lasers at batman from her eyes. Batman used Wonder Woman as a human shield the laser blast knocking her unconscious.

Supergirl appeared behind Batman, and he ducked under her punch and gave her an uppercut with his ring hand. She went flying back, but Powergirl got between them and blew her ice breath all over batman until he was completely covered in a thick layer of ice. Wonder Woman fell to the floor, and the Kryptonian girls helped her to her feat.

"Why's he doing this?" Supergirl asked.

"We only just got the call." Powergirl said, explaining their lateness.

"Well, I have no idea." Wonder Woman admitted. "Aparently he just went insane. Oh my Gods, look!"

They turned, following her gaze, to see the ice on Batman cracking. He brought his arms up, shattering the ice. Supergirl noticed that his belt had an orange light that was glowing bright red.

"I fight guys with freeze rays." Batman told them, bringing up his yellow ring hand. "You didn't think that I might have a themal ignition pad on my belt?"  
Instead of waiting for an answer, a massive bulldozer, made of ring energy, pushed the three women away from Batman, and into the wormhole. They were gone.

"Let's see, that seams to be everyone that matters..." Batman said.  
Aquaman rolled over and stood up, and charged at Batman with his trident. "Like I said, everyone that matters." Batman said as a giant yellow bat knocked Aquaman off the railing.

He went back to work on the Nuclear warhead, and soon he was ready to launch it into the portal when, suddenly, the wormhole began to fluxuate. It shimmered, and a man wearing red white and blue tights appeared, carrying a round shield.

"Oh shit!" Batman exclaimed, jumping over the railing. He landed in a pile dirt on the stone floor.

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!" Captain America bellowed.


	2. Chapter 2

"Shit shit shit shit..." Batman muttered as the heroes advanced on him. Captain America threw his vibranium shield at him. Batman ducked under the shield, but it bounced off the cave wall and came back at him. He backflipped over the shield, and threw a magnetic grapple hook at it, which was attached to a cord. The magnetic hook latched onto the shield, and Batman swung it up, cutting through the scaffolding above him. He brought it down on Captain America, but Cap dodged and rolled out of the way. The crate fell down and shattered against the cave floor, scattering Batman's gadgets. Batman yanked back on the rope, and caught the shield.

Antman and his wife, the Wasp, followed Captain America through the portal, and Ironman and Thor soon joined them as well. Batman picked up a canister filled with Pym particles as the Wasp and Antman shrunk down and flew at him. He threw three baterangs at them, but the wasp was very agile with her insect wings, as was Antman as he rode his flying ant. (WTF?)

They flew around him, too small to punch. Batman took the fourth baterang and stabbed it into the canister, puncturing the metal and releasing the pym particles. The heroic couple grew to their normal size, and batman used the moment of their disintorientation to to stab them both in the face.

"Damn, he really, has gone insane!" Powergirl said. "I'm glad that _every single superhero_ from that other universe was so willing to follow you into battle, Wonder Woman."

"Well, I just hope it will be enough." Wonder Woman said, stepping through the portal.

Ironman shot Repulor beams at the crazy detective, but Batman blocked his blows with Captain America's shield. Thor flew down and tried to hit Batman with his hammer, but Batman raised the shield again. The force of Thor's magical lightning hammer caused cracks to appear on the vibranium surface, so Batman wrapped yellow energy around his fist and punched Thor in the face before he could deliver another blow. The Norse God stumbled back.

Rockets rained down on Batman from Ironman's shoulders, but he wrapped himself in a protective bubble of Yellow light. Batman pulled a device out of his utility belt and shot it at Ironman. It was a three fingered claw on a rope, and it went straight for the arc reactor on Irnoman's chest. It bounced off, and Tony laughed.

"What, did you think you could just rip it out of my chest?" Ironman asked.

"Well, you displayed your weakness with a glowing light." Batman said, the yellow bubble disappearing, and a yellow energy duplicate of the device he had just used appeared in his hand. "So I assumed that you were a dumbass."

he shot the yellow three fingered claw at Ironman, and this time he was successful in ripping out the man's heart battery thing. Ironman fell into the darkness, clutching at his heart.

Captain America lunged at Batman, but Batman crouched under him and used his shoulders to send Cap flying over the cliff.

Spiderman and Daredevil apeared through the portal. "Come on, bring it on!" Spiderman said. Batman threw a few batterangs, but Spiderman dodged a few of them before catching the last one in his web and slinging it back. Batman dodged his own batterang and dived for the pile of gadgets. He grabbed a canister of some unknown gas and another dart gun, but was caught in Spiderman's webs before he could use it. "You can't cut through that shit." Spiderman quipped as he tied his arms behind him.

"God, you are so annoying." batman said.

"You think you have it bad?" Daredevil asked. "Try sneaking into a crimeboss's mansion with the guy."

"Hey, which side are you on?" Spiderman asked, turning to face Daredevil. Batman used this opportunity to spray the gas into the air, and the cloud quickly dissolved the webs binding him. Spiderman's spidersense kicked in, and he blocked Batman's punch. But Batman's reflex's were fast as well, and he shot a dart into Spiderman's neck.

"What the... what the hell..." Spiderman muttered as he stumbled backwards.

"I stole that from Kraven the Hunter while I was in your world." Batman explained. "It should nullify you're spidersense."

Batman proceeded to kick Spiderman's spider-ass, but Daredevil intervened. Batman grabbed spiderman's wrist and pointed it at Daredevil, and pressed down on the trigger. Daredevil's head was instantly covered in sticky webs.

"AAAHHH! I'm def!" Daredevil cried out.

"Don't you mean 'AAAHHH! I'm blind' ?" Spiderman asked, and Batman karate chopped him in the neck, knocking him out.

"He's always been blind, idiot." Batman said, and grabbed Daredevil, throwing him over the cliff.

"HULK SMASH!"

Batman turned to face the portal, and saw a green giant. He picked up a dart gun, and said "Hulk, calm the fuck down." he shot the dart at him, but it just bounced off of Hulk's rubbery skin. "Oh shit." Batman dived to the side as Hulk brought down his fists, shaking the entire cave.

Green Arrow arrived, out of breathe. He put his hands on his knees, breathing heavily, before standing up and saying to Wonder Woman. "Sorry I'm late. I'm the only one who can't fly or run faster then sound."

"Don't worry, it's fine." She said as Hawkeye came through the portal.

"Who's that guy?" Green Arrow asked.

Hawkeye shot an arrow at Batman, so simply leaned to side. The arrow whizzed past him and exploded against the wall.

"Hey, you remind me of someone I know." batman said, catching the next arrow. "Is your name 'Purple Arrow'?"

"No it's Hawkeye." Hawkeye said as Batman shot a yellow laser at Hulk while disarming the arrow bomb with his teeth.

"Huh, well, you wire your arrow bombs the same way Green Arrow does." Batman said, and flung the arrow so it impaled Green Arrow through the heart.

"Oh the irony!" Green Arrow exclaimed as he fell to the floor, dead.

Hawkeye charged at Batman and swung his bow it him, which had been sharpened into a blade. Batman grabbed him by the forearm and flipped him onto his back. Hulk jumped up into the air, attempting to land on Batman. Batman rolled to the side, and Hulk crushed Hawkeye under his feet.  
Batman ran up a staircase as Hulk chased after him, demolishing the staircase.

Cloak and Dagger arrived through the portal.

"Who are we fighting again?" Dagger asked, and Batman suddenly dived into the folds of Cloak's... cloak.

"WERE PUNY BATMAN GO?" Hulk asked.

"Ummm..." Cloak stammered, and batman's spiky arm reached out of his chest and grabbed Dagger by the wrist, dragging her into Cloak's dimension. "Oh no!" Cloak exclaimed, and white light shot out of his eyes, ears, mouth and nose. Beams of light shot out all over his body, and Cloak exploded into a white flash, knocking Hulk off his feet.

Batman stood where Cloak had just been, completely unaffected by the blast.

"How did you... how did you survive?" Wonder Woman wondered.

"I'm Batman." Batman said, and stabbed her in her beautiful face with a bat shaped knife.


End file.
